Pasko [na naman]

Pag dumating ang October, magsisimula ka na makakita ng mga countdown sa mga TV stations, dyaryo, poster, at sa mga text message na nagbibilang na ng araw bago ang mag pasko. Well, kung marunong kang magbasa, magsulat, mag-type ng internet address, mag internet, at napadpad ka sa website na 'to malamang alam mo kung ano ang araw ng pasko. Hehehe hindi ka na bata para paliwanagan kung ano yung PASKO.

Sabi nila [at taon taon ko naman naririnig] Christmas is a time for giving, it's the time for forgiving. Christmas is for the children. Tama. Kase aminado, naging bata tayong lahat at HALOS lahat ng bata, naranasan mag caroling, at mamasko sa kapitbahay, sa ninong at ninang sa araw na 'to. Ngayon, ako na ang ninong kaya malugod ko ring inaangkin na may mga "pasko" na kelangan pala tlagang "magtago" lalo na nagtatrabaho ka sa isang kompanyang may magandang proyekto pero walang magandang sweldo. 

(Gumagana na naman yung pagka aktibista ko.)

Ito yung oras na dapat masaya ang lahat...

Pero hanggang kailan?

In my 14 to 16 years of age, dun ako nakaramdam ng kakaibang feeling tuwing nagpapasko. Minsan nalulungkot ako pag padating na yung pasko. Pag magpapasko kase, hindi na yung Pasko mismo ang naiisip ko. Naiisip ko agad:

"Walanjo, magtatapos na naman yung isang taon. Anung nagawa ko?"

Iniisip ko kung mag nagawa ba akong mahalagang bagay sa nakalipas na taon; may mga bagay bang pinangako kong gagawin ngayon taon pero 'di ko nagawa, at kung naging worth it ba yung taon na 'yun.

Is this year worth it?

Oo at hindi. Madami akong bagay na gusto gawin nitong mga nakalipas na taon na hindi ko nagawa. Pero may mga nagawa ako na hindi ko na-plano pero naging mabuti ang kinalabasan. [pakiramdam ko meron pero since on the spot ako nagsusulat, wala ako maalala. Isusulat ko pag nag edit ako ulit]

Kaso malapit na naman matapos yung isang taon, na sulit ko ba yung 365 days na yun?

Maraming nagsasaya pag pasko. Sa isang banda kase halos lahat ng mga empleyado sa'tin ay walang pasok sa mga ganitong araw kaya sama sama silang nagse-celebrate nito. Mainam. May mga kilala din akong mga taong hindi nagse-celebrate nito, at may mga tao akong kilala, nakita, at napanood na gustong gusto mag diwang nito kaso 'di pwede.

As I believe, gaya ng Valentine's day, kung anong pinaniniwalaan mong kinagawiang gawin sa mga araw na yun, pwede mo siyang gawin ng mas madalas. Buwanan, lingguhan o araw-araw. Wag nyo lang ako pakiringgan na "Kuya Dubz, pwede ba akong humingi sa'yo ng pamasahe at lunch araw araw?" hahaha pwede ko praktisin ang pasko sa araw-araw pero hindi ako si Santa Claus.

If it's the time for giving, it's not always money and gifts you have to give. If it's the time to be happy and jolly... SMILE. It's not everyday you're happy, yes, but someone is HAPPY because of you. Christmas is a one-day reminder na meron kang tungkuling mag bigay at magpasaya ng kapwa mo sa araw araw. Kung hindi man sa kapwa mo, sa sarili mo. Just be sensitive enough to what you can do to the people around you and yourself. 

Ito yung oras na dapat masaya ang lahat...

Pero hanggang kailan?

Iiwan ko na lang sa mga bata at batang isip ang idea na it's all about gift giving, food, and fun; bata pa kase sila. They deserve the fun all this day, kase pagdating din nila ng 14 or 16 years old, mararamdaman din nila siguro meron na rin silang responsibilidad para sa mga batang susunod sa kanila; na sila naman ang magbigay ng happiness sa mga batang wala pang muwang.

Ito yung oras na dapat masaya ang lahat...

Pero hindi muna para sa lahat ng tao.

This one goes out to the victims of Bagyong Sendong.

I know that the ones who left you will never come back. I pray that in the next 365, bit by bit, we can celebrate the holidays the way we used to be. Stay strong.

Happy Birthday Wiseguy.

Writer's Block

Naipublish tong blog na to dahil gusto ko mag sulat, gusto ko mag pahid ng tinta dito kahit alam kong walang makakabasa dahil iilan lang ang nakakaalam na nagsusulat ako sa paraang ganto. Sa totoo lang mas gusto ko yun; mag sulat para  maglabas ng gusto sabihin para sa SARILI.

Isa pang nakaktuwang dahilan ay dahil sa nahingian ako ng isang artikulo ng isang malapit na kakilala [na hanggang ngayon eh hindi ko pa nailalathala kase... hindi pa siya tapos hahaha. sorry bunso, sorry Ara] at kasama ni Ara nainspire din ako ni Eula sa pag gawa ulit at pag sulat ng blog :D

Kaka publish lang ng blog na 'to. At para sa formality na magmukha siyang blog, isinalin ko dito yung mga articles na galing sa mga dati kong blog sa kadahilanang hindi ko na maalala ang log in or password nung mga account na yun. [kase makakalimutin tlaga ako sa mga bagay bagay -- sobrang makakalimutin]

(asan na nga ba ako??)

Ayun, habang nagtatagal ako sa pag kumpuni, pag edit, pag post, at pag ubos ng oras, hindi ko napapansin na wala naman talaga akong naidadagdag sa post na 'to kundi yung mga dati ko lang din na ginawa. Pangalawa, napansin ko na karamihan sa mga dating ginawa ko eh mga English [mahirap man paniwalaan, kahit hindi halata... marunong ako mag English... oo! totoo yun... promise.] konti nga lang. Kung tutuusin, makikita at mapapansin nyo pa na mali mali ang grammar at punctuation  nung mga English articles ko. Hindi ko sila binago para ma preserve ko yung mga salitang ginawa ko dati... saka para mas malakas din ang tawa ko sa sarili ko habang binabasa ko yung mga grammatical error na nasa post ko. [Halatang hindi ko sineryoso ang pagaaral ng English.]

Moving on...

Kanina, habang nakasakay ako sa bus papuntang office, bumalik na naman yung pakiramdam ko na gustong gusto kong sumulat ng article para madagdagan naman yung laman nitong pahina na 'to kaso ayun na ba-blanko na naman ang isip ko sa kakaisip. Parang sa pag iinternet lang; pag wala ka sa harap ng PC andami mong gustong i-search at panoorin sa Youtube, pero pag andito ko na... 'nak ng tinapay anu nga ba yung gusto kong i-search at panoorin sa Youtube? [ sabi sa'yo makakalimutin ako ]

Kanina din habang nakasakay ako sa bus pauwi, naisip ko ang ilan sa mga dahilan kung anung pwedeng dahilan bakit ganto.

Una, masayado ako mabilis magisip, ito siguro yung mga dahilan kung bakit hindi ako tumataba, mukha akong puyat kahit lagpas walong oras akong tulog, at tinutubuan ako ng puting buhok. Minsan ko na nasabing kaya kong mag-isip ng dalawang bagay ng sabay. Hindi sa abnormal ako pero palagay ko may mga oras tlaga na nagagawa ko to... habang nagta-type ako ng mga case sa office, minsan nagagawa kong isipin kung anung itsura ng mga nagsasalita sa audio na naririnig ko. Hindi ko pa ako nakakaalpas sa senaryong yun eh... nagagawa ko nang sundan yun ng pagiisip ng ibang bagay gaya ng kung pano kaya kung sa'kin nangyari yung kaso na yun or pano kaya kung dito sa 'Pinas nangyari yung ganun or pano kaya kung kakilala ko yung ganun or pano kung ako yung andun mismo sa court trial, naiisip ko yun habang iniisip ko kung anung itsura ng mga taong napapakinggan ko.[Sempre 'di pa kasama jan ang segue sa pagiisip sa kras at sa mga kakulitan na binabalak sa hinaharap]

~ Masyado ako mabilis mag isip in the sense na may meron akong gustong isulat o isiping isang bagay pero agad napapatungan ng mga topic na  iniisip kong mas magandang simulan or isulat. WALA AKONG POKUS. Alam ko na yan bata pa lang ako. hanggang ngayon pinipilit ko i-trace back kung san nagsimula ang pagiging out of focus ko.

At Pangalawa na siguro eh pinaka importante sa lahat, nakalimutan ko ang SELF EXPRESSION.

~ Blog ko 'to. hindi ko kelangan gumawa ng mga ilalaman dito para ikakasaya ng ibang tao. Hindi ako kelangan gumawa ng ilalaman dito para basahin ng ibang tao para sa panlasa ng iba. Minsan natatakot ako mag post iniisip ko baka kase hindi magustuhan ng mga makakabasa... nakalimutan ko... WALA NAMAN AKO READER HAHAHA. Eh, bakit ba blog ko to eh.

~ Hindi ko rin kelangan mag English para lang maging tunog pormal. Hindi ko kelangan ng pormal na lahatlain kung hindi ko naman masasabi ng lubos yung gusto kong sabihin dun. Pero hindi ko naman gusto sabihin na magsusulat lang ako sa salitang Filipino lagi. Kahit masakit sa kasing kasing ang mag English para sa'kin, gagawa ako ng English article promise :D

Hindi ko kelangan mag English.

Mas makakapag express ako ng gusto ko ipaliwanag gamit ang lenggwaheng kinalakihan ko gamitin.

I don't have to write in English for  [ @!(*&#@(*&%)*% 'nak ng tinapay tlaga nakaisip na ako ng magandang English quote nakalimutan ko na naman]

Anyways, this is my blog, my rules, and my post.

Lahat 'to eh naglalaman ng mga kalokohan, ka kornihan at mga kalikutan ng isip ko.

Somehow, makikilala mo ako dito.

Kung hindi ka interesado, wag ka magbasa... Eh bakit ka ba nangengealam?! Blog ko naman  'to. Belat.

Ayan may naiisip na ako.

Antok na ako... bukas na lang ulit pag wala nang mga balakid sa pagsusulat. Tara tulog na.

after all hindi ako entitled sa title nito... hindi ako full pledged writer hehehe :D

Dream Burial

 [note: isa 'to sa mga article na sinulat ko nung 2008. Emo days, tipong galit pa sa mundo. Lagi rin tumatakas sa isip ko na ang English term para sa "karo" ay "hearse" -- 'nak ng tinapay talaga -- ]






Im sure we're thinking beyond after we die.
Are angels true?
Is heaven really real?
We never even think about what we will going to be when we die and being laid upon by thousand pairs of eyes while we're there enjoying our so called "Burol" but we don't care because we don't even know how it feels to be DEAD hehe.






I saw a picture generator on the web which  lets you generate a graphical representation of your tomb stone. You are very free to put in whatever information you love and if you are a freak enough to be a man of curiosity, you are allowed to make your death date faster. Create some pictures of  that and send them to your favorite bestfriends and let them slap your face after all the "not good feeling" and restlessness [to punch you right into your nose]  provided that your death is not true. Very nice.




It also made my mind itch and come to think of our elders. Them who's very keen about their "Habilin" when they die. And most of the time, habilins are followed. Cool.




Since blogging gives me a right to post all I wanted, and since I have few readers with it,  I would like to create my own HABILIN.


If ever Wiseguy says it's time for me to come home,  there's some list to consult. ^_^"
Here's my list.


If I die:


- I really want to be cremated. But cremation is quite expensive, so I prefer to have the underground internment.


- Morticians should be very careful on handling my body, specially my face. This is the only beautiful part -- I guess -- of this physical being.


-If possible minimize the cryings.


- I want every one of my dearest family to be present at all time.


- Friends should be there too!


- There should be singing and laughing while I'm on my BUROL. I want to hear childrens laughter everywhere. (hey, I'm dead I cant hear by that time)


- When my internment comes, I want my... what do you call it?? the car who brings your casket?? well anyways... i want my karo to play music while on the way to the church. The karo should play a music of my choice right? I want "Tears in Heaven" Gregorians version.


- While in the mass... I want the church to play Michael Bolton's "Go the Distance" when its time for the eucharist.


- And when my body is leaving the church, I want the church to play "Moment of Peace" by the Gregorians as well ( while the church bells are ringing) spooky.


- I want to have a normal internment. Just put me six feet under and dig in some soil.


- I want my family to be relaxed when the day ended and continue life without bringing the pain of my loss.


Well, anyways, I  dunno how this came up to my mind, but I always wanted to post a article of this kind. It's a bit short for a habilin, though. but I can always add something to this while I'm still alive, right?


But for now...




ENJOY THE DAYS THAT YOU'RE WITH YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVE ONES. THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON KNOWS WHEN IT'S TIME FOR US TO DO OUR OWN HABILINs.


And thank God... I'm still here to write mine.

Dusk of Sundays

Informal.


It's Sunday. I don't know if it's only me, but what's with Sundays that I get so gloomy about.  It's the first day of the week, right? So, to make the incoming week productive and energetic, start the first day of the week with a blast. Yeah, right. But How in the world -- Arrgh~! Sundays.
Is it the music played on the radio that makes a gloomy Sunday gloomy?
Is it the TV shows?
Maybe the idea of going to work on the following days after Sunday that makes me sluggish. But dude, I happen to experience going to work with Sundays... months of them actually and there's still that distinct mood for Sunday in me that I wanted to go home as fast as I can to sleep Sunday out. Geesh~!


It's Sunday... and it's afternoon. No, the sun is already setting to hide from the mountains and the horizons over there. There! you see it?!


Dusk of Sundays.  This is one hell of a test for me. Every week, I had to find something or anything or someone to have my mind think of something else that would make me not realize that this part of the day is passing and have already gone. If I found something that could catch my attention, I could laugh at Sunday saying  "aha! night time! bye Sunday, see you next week", but if I haven't, these were the times where I talk to my pillow to buy me round trip tickets to dreamland even if it's still  5:00 p.m.


Was it really the Sundays? Maybe.
Maybe not.
But I have great Sundays I lived to tell and to reminisce. I know I have many, but since I'm writing this impromptu, I ought to stumble on the recent ones. Great Sunday indeed. It was rainy though, but I did have a wishful thinking that that Sunday would be longer. Yes, longer as opposed to what I wish my usual Sunday should be. Yes, you've guessed it right... of course it did not happen because that day was ended also by incoming dusk. Whew! so soon. Enjoy the movie with her though. It's a blast


Was it really the Sundays?
Maybe not.
Was it the afternoons? The dusk?


Well, I have issues with the afternoons and dusk, you know. [Nah! long story.] But I happen to tell someone that "afternoons are not that lonely anymore"
I thought so.
It is not that lonely anymore... at least for now. Or at least, there's still a bagful of afternoons from that long story that's still clinching in my brain that can't be plucked out by ten -- twenty, twenty seven or fifty good afternoons and good dusk.


It appears to me that I'll be walking some less good dusk ahead.
I know.
I feel it.
As early of now i should find something that would...


[text message]
[to think, this is my first message for the whole day]
[Excited... I hope it's from her]


"You're Call/Text promo subscription is already expired..."


sweet.




I'm thinking of writing about something...




Hmmmm... it's already night time... I was able to divert my attention from enduring an incoming Sunday Dusk. Aha! Night time! Bye Sunday! see you next week.

Why now? Why Valentines Day?

First hours of February 14, 2011 has passed and I'm in the front of the computer talking to Eula :D and my Supervisor :D and then as the booming and flowering batch of Valentine's Day messages gush through, there's something running in my head. And this means i had to think about it and write about it.


~Valentine's Day.
or Balentayms para sa mga kabataang pinoy hahah.
~This is the time where chocolates gets quite expensive.
~This is the time where flowers of kind ( I think ) gets quite expensive.
~This is the time where Parks and Valentine themed places are getting crowded and gets quite pricey.
~This is the time where [for mature readers] motels, hotels, and such are eventually getting some Valentine inspired rooms and gets quite expensive.
~Valentine's day is one day of the year where lovers plan on doing something sweet or memorable just because it's Valentine's day.


But why now? Why ONLY on Valentine's day??


Question:


What is Valentine's day for a single, not committed person? (many people forget Valentine's day is not for lovers alone)


How about the recently broken hearted individual? ( What would the "day" would give him/her? Or would she/he still thinks that such "day" is existing?)


AND Why would we do something special on this "day" if we could do it readily almost everyday?


------------------------------------------------------


Doing something special in commemoration of the "day" is quite pointless.


We don't buy flowers, gifts, go to romantic places, and say sweet I love you because it's Valentine'day. It's because of our affection, what we feel, it's about LOVE.


If you are showing your loved one that you can do something great for them on this day, you can do this to them again and again more special than a single day of the year.


And loved one is not limited to a  girlfriend, boyfriend. You have your friends, and your family.


and you have your ONLY ONE up there.


Tell a blind man how you love him and he will feel the LOVE, without him seeing the color of a rose petal or how us normal people draw a heart shape.


See the face of your parents and brothers and sisters, when you go out for work. See them smile as they wish you to take great care of yourself. That is Love out of Valentine's day [and you get them everyday]


Personally, when I get to see the people I care for in everyday life; the feeling is heavenly when you know there's somebody is waiting for you to get home... while even before you leave.


When you see your crush at the office. It feels great isn't it? It's a Kilig feeling you feel every time. An intense feeling you feel even it's not Valentine's day


These are some feelings more Lovelier than Valentine's day.


So don't find comfort and love on a single day because the season is telling you that's it's a "loving day today".






This are certain feelings that you can feel everyday. Just look and try feel them.
It's a feeling where you get inspired and feel alive.
It's a feeling you could readily get and not to be emphasized in a single day of the year.




Valentine's day is only a commemoration day.
~you should not cherish the love that you already had just because it's valentine's day. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY.
~you should not make some special arrangements on this day just to say it's Special. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY.
~it doesn't have to be expensive. Just an ice cream cone on the free time together is enough. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY.
~it doesn't have to be expensive. Walking holding each others hands on the way home is enough. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY.
~it doesn't have to be girl/boyfriend. You could tell friends, parents, and siblings how special are they. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY


... it doesn't have always to be  I Love you. You also need to say a warm Sorry and a simple Thank you.


I think.
Valentine's day should not be a day where you could show someone how special they are.
instead...
Valentine's day should remind us that True Love really do exist.


And should be practiced in no amount of wealth or time will be measured.


just always a heartful*


Celebrate love.


*http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/heartful