Macho ka ba?

 Intro:

Sabihin nyo na na mahangin ako pero...

Ako! si Dubz... ako ay MACHO in a different way (kikiligin at ngingiti)

First stanza:
Pag sinabing MACHO... madalas tayong nakukulong sa imahe ng isang lalake na may kataasang tinding, matikas na pangangatawan at may mga sagana sa ehersisyong muscle... yung tipong nagmumura yung mga masel at nagpupumiglas palabas ng manggas ng T-shirt at nagsasabing "MASEL AKO!!!"

Chorus:

"Gnun. Sori, mpili lng tlaga en cool tlaga. Bihira ang guy na nasama sa girl sa pagbili kase matagal nga. Ang macho mo nga para skin kanina. Kala nila swit ng bf ko."


Second Stanza:
Una... Text message yan sa'kin ng isang kaibigan/kakilala na sinamahan ko sa isang mall kahapon. Kelangan nyang bumi ng damit para sa isang event na pupuntahan nya sa darating na weekend.

Pangalawa... isinama nya ako kase iba daw ang opinion ng lalake pagdating sa damit na sinosoot ng mga babae. Minsan kahit gustong gusto ng mga babae ang bumili ng damit, kukuha sila ng opinion ng iba kase mahalaga sa kanila yung anung tingin ng iba sa damit na soot nila. Saka... nag volunteer din akong sumama.

Pangatlo... hindi nya ako BF yung saleslady lang ata ang nakaisip nyan. Hahaha wala akong girlfriend.

Third Stanza
Walang kaso sa'kin ang samahan ang kaibigang babae sa pamimili ng damit sa mall. Kase nung college days, madalas akong hatakin sa mall ng isang bespren kong babae [highschool bespren] sa mall para bumili ng damit nya pag nasweldo sya. Kapalit nun, ililibre nya ako sa Tokyo Tokyo bilang pagpapasalamat [iyon talaga yung paboritong parte ko dun eh.] Ewan ko. Since di naman ako naglalalabas ng bahay, magandang pampatay ng oras yun para sa'kin.

Fourth Stanza

Hindi rin unang beses akong napuri sa pagsama sa isang kaibigang babae sa pagsama sa pamimili sa mall. Naalala ko, unang beses kong sinamahan ang isang katrabaho [na itago natin sa pangalang Maine Benitez] sa accessory kiosk ng mall sa Makati. After ilang minuto matapos nya sabihing "Ay teka lang Dubz may titingnan lang ako", at matapos ang ilang "Sorry, Dubz, ha naiinip ka na ba", nagulat ako ng sabihin nya na "Ang bait mo naman... buti 'di ka nahihiya na samahan ako no?"
"Bakit naman?" tanong ko.
"Eh kase... bihira sa lalaki ang sumama sa babae sa pagshopping"

And after nung pag tingin namin ng accessory, nasundan pa yun ng ilang beses sa mga sumunod na buwan. Leopard spots na damit, bag, Neon Green na shirt, varsity jacket, at kung anu-ano pa. Isa siguro sa mga naging dahilan 'to bakit ko sya naging close. I miss this girl so much. I'm willing to do this every day with her :D hehehe

I miss you Maine!

Refrain:

Ang senaryo: Naglalakad kami papuntang Landmark. Kelangan namin makakita ng DILAW na damit, of course, of her choice. Kwentuhan, lakad, pili, kwento, tawa. Inikot namin yung kalahati ng floor para kumuha ng mga nagustuhan nyang damit. Sabi nya sa isang sales lady:
"Miss, pwede bang umikot na muna ako tapos saka ko na lang isusukat lahat?"
"Maximum of two pieces lang ang pwede sa loob ng fitting room." bulong ko sa kanya.
"Edi dadalhin mo."

kinabahan ako.


Bridge:
Bandang huli nakapili siya ng apat na damit. Pumunta kami sa may dressing room. Kinuha ko ang bag nya ang sinukbit sa balikat ko. Dinala nya ang dalawang piraso at pumasok sa isang maliit na parang compound. Pag punta nya sa may pintuan, di pwede ang lalaki dun sa parang maliit na likuan kung san may ilang fitting room na nakalinya [MALAMANG!!!]  kaya andun ako sa may entrance nung likuan sa may corridor ng store naghintay. Lumabas siya ulit at sinabing "Pinayagan ako magdala ng 3 pieces." kinuha nya yung pangatlong damit at naiwan ako sa may corridor na may sukbit na may kalakihang shoulderbag sa kanang balikat at may hawak na damit pang babae sa kanang kamay na NAKAHANGER PA. Medyo nakakahiya ng konti kase nasa gitna ako ng isang floor na puro pangbabae ang damit, may bag, at bitbit na damit pang babae. NAPAKAINAM. Maya-maya...

"Sir!" tawag nung sales lady.

Binibigay nya sa'kin yung damit na dala nya kanina sa loob at pinapakuha daw yung huling damit na nasa akin. Balik na naman ako sa may corridor at tumayo sa parehong pwesto [meron kaseng LCD TV na malapit. Nakikinood ako. So, nakatayo ako may sukbit na bag, at may nakasampay na dilaw na damit sa kanang braso at tinitingnan ako ng mga saleslady na dumadaan at ng mga namimili na karamihan ay... oo, you're right! babae]. Maya maya lumabas na siya. Nakangiti. Nakapag decide na siya kung anung design ang bibilhin. Sinamahan ko siya ulit para isauli ang mga damit na hindi nya napili. Bago tuluyang bilhin ang napiling damit, nagtanong pa sya kung alin ang mas maganda Small or Medium ba. At parang tumakbo ang oras na masusi naming pinagusapan ang advantages at disadvantages kung pipili sya ng small or ng medium. She picked Medium.

Ad lib:

Lumabas kami ng mall na masaya kase parang kwentuhan habang namimili yung settings. Tapos natuwa siya sa'kin dahil sa sinamahan nya ako... nilibre nya ako ng salad sa Wendy's. Hay... sarap. Naaalala ko si high school bespren. Pagkatapos kumain, nagpaalam kami na uuwi na. Naghiwalay kami ng daan at sumakay ako ng bus. Habang bus, nag text ako at nagpasalamat sa salad. Sinabi kong mejo na concious ako kase napatambay ako sa harap ng fitting room tapos meron akong magandang bag at may dala akong damit na pang babae.

anong reply nya??

(Repeat Chorus 2x then fade)


Ako na macho ^_^"

Formal Essay [Daw] [Kuno]

January 3, 2012.

Wala kaming file. So, we're instructed [again] to do other things. And it's an essay now. Not less than 2000 words and articles are not included. English. Wow... hindi ko talaga naseryoso ang pag aaral ng English sa totoo lang so kung hindi ko sineryoso ang aralin na 'yon, anung aasahan mo sa'kin pag nagbasa ka ng katha ko na puro English?

Handa ka na magbasa ng boring pero comedy na essay?
Warning: Sakit ko din ang maglagay ng punctuation marks... huminga at huminto kung sa tingin mo ay kailangan ng tuldok at nakalimutan ko lagyan.


*******

The Next Six Months

I have been in this company for a year and eight months now. Quite a long period for a Philippine employee you may say. Working on some selection of jobs, I might consider my current employment to be a more decent one. It is great to work on a high-rise bulding in the middle of the business district of the country (20 floors to state – I am on the 18th). Everyday, I had to track my way in a "always-busy" roads of Makati. Yes, Makati. I don't know, but some of my colleagues in school, highschool or college,  have this distinct expression of when you are working on the business central, you get this high regard while  working there. It is just the name of the place, it does not deal anything with the kind of work; Makati has street sweepers too just so you know. I maybe working on a well-known place where business tycoon rule, foreign investor meets, ambassadors live,  and a district mostly owned by a person whose the main avenue was named from, but it does not make me one so one does not need to praise or throw extolments just I am with Makati, I hate that. I am no extraordinaire from an employee from Muntinlupa with the same job and the same paycheck... I'm just a bit farther from home.

        In that almost two years, I have this chance to wander and explore the place, but I was not able to. In fact, I still walk my way to work in the very same route I took when I applied in this job. I lack in place memorization that would be why. Leave me blindfolded in the middle of    Makati Avenue and I will just look on the familiar buildings and look my way around. I am not familiar with the name of the streets, intersection, and establishments.  Needless to say, I still track the same way going home. Yes, the chain of malls: Greenbelt, Landmark, SM.  There is this faster way, when you trail and walk along Ayala Avenue going to EDSA "outside" the mall. I was introduced on the bars and the stores inside that cluster of  malls – appreciate the food and the landscaping. And being as a frustrated photographer, Ayala Avenue would be a great place especially when there is no people lurking in it. I love the avenue when we are in holidays. I could have a digital camera and take a shot of something. Actually, that is one side of the work that I really look after... It is a pleasure – or a work outside of work. Makati is not all about business, not all about work. Makati has a soft place for everyone... each and any person of any kind. Makati in it's cleanest roads have dirty spots too specially at night.

        I have done those things and countless more having the job here. What are in store  for this year is yet to be explored, yet no one knows what would it be. For this next months, life in the disctrict  seems the same. They do not know anything about what's not about business and work matter still matters to whom who needs it and to the ones who are providing it. I would move what my job wants me to do, and I would do it for it is how I am measured. Though I would be doing  the same things  that I generally do or do something more... memorize a new street name maybe.

        There has been a lot of changes in the workplace. It was never like  it was before. This only reminds us that the workplace is not a playground, it is a professional place. It is a place where you work your tissues out to earn. The fun is just second. I have been in three departments or "project", as they call it, of this company. The first project and my current project would be the most commendable – we only lasted for two weeks in the second project before we finally end up in transcribing legal proceedings. We have been transcribing legal procedures for eight months now and it has been a topsy turvy shift from my first project. We transcribe pre-recorded audio call in my first project. It was hard, yes, but legal transcribing is a complete different story. "Transcribing with a sting", it is the way I described it before. "May kurot! Ang sakit eh!" I used to utter. I have to understand all the rules of it, the style of it, the nature of it, and put yourself into it. It is fun though. No, it is hard, really. We were not that familiar with the culture, the accent, the law, and some stuff. "One and a half months of training will not suffice." I remember one of my trainers told us that, but eventually, getting the hang of it, we were  able to join the others who had been there first... well, at least slightly. Say hello to Mr. Shapiro. I remembered handling my very first live file was with him. So, in the near future, when I have to pursue another career out of this company, Adam (Shapiro) would be one great keyword for me to remember the work. I never thought of hanging for this long in this field. I used to say that legal terms and stuff are not for me. But we were chosen to do this. I will just convince myself that there were reason that we were picked from others and we are capable of doing this job.
       
        It has been like that and I think that it would be the same. The workload, the work shifts, the report, statistics, target, incentives, coaching, but not the workplace. Like on the last department where I came from, I used to miss some person that I used to get along for almost a year. One by one, almost monthly, I had to say farewell on some of the people I used to chat with and have lunch with. One part of doing work is doing it with your close companions. And watching them left and go by the day  is the real sting while working in an environment where you are a complete different person while doing the job. It's nice to see that people try to put efforts in making the field a happy place to work and not everybody do that. But you have to go through and continue. Workplace is no place for fun and recreation... it's a professional place.

        In the following months, more people will try to leave and hopefully, same amount will come. Doing the job like I have is not an easy task. More rules to follow, more mistakes to look out. It would take a month and a half training for a newcomer to fully understand or get a glimpse of what we're doing. We're still peeping. But, as an employee, you don't have to to give much attention to the loss, you have to gain; for the company, for yourself.  You are not paid of what you think about the job; neither your opinions on how the system go. You are to move on what you have to do... you are part of the system, it is your job; it is all about you after all. You are in the frontline in the field and what you will do on the ground makes a blot on the name of the institution you represent.

        Walking on the same road and walking home at the same path is what seems I would be doing in the following days. Hit the traffic jam, pile up in the streets for a ride, bump on someone on the bus, standing on a homebound trip in the midst of a storm surge, get to the office, do your stuff, collect your paycheck, and wakeup for another work day. That seem to be the most likely scenario unless there are changes. Together with the "changes" this management told that they will induce, one should be ready for those changes and I hope the changes are good. Many of which who do this job with me seeks for a better compensation from the company... everybody does. And as these changes rolls out, the sake of the employees should be given focus too.

         I have been in the legal transcription business for months now, but it feels like I don't still get the hang of it. I'm still have to convince myself that I have done this, and I have done this correctly. In the following weeks, the first three months I may say, would be crucial. Most of the cases and proceedings would be pouring out again from a Florida based client. We transcribe, we earn.  There are events that is coming ahead this quarter. There are some celebrations, events, and public engagements that will come to slightly help on what kind of employee you are showing now.    Together with the weight of this job, one must at least try to observe these occassions. In the past months, I experienced how to be trained and be the newcomer in this field. In the following months, there were some that would replace our post... we will be the one who will assist, less the assisted.


        I was asked by a very close relative to try and venture outside of the country. It was a big thing, the sound of it still screeching in my head numerous times within the day. There is so much to consider when doing a job overseas for I value relationship ties too much. And that close relative said, "Son, that's what I said when I am thinking of a decision. You will have to be wise nowadays, you know?" In a couple of months, he would be coming back here and settle for good. He is waiting for an answer, six months would be enough to think. People said that working in the country would not bring you anywhere. Some of the times, we might believe that and part of the times, we have to consider obliging ourselves that it's not the solution. Up to this point, I am still obliging myself.

        I have this dedication on everything I do. I make sure that I do what I am asked with passion and dedication. I am not doing a perfect job... many of us neither. I have this longing to do and perfect the craft where I am now... I could; what I could not clearly tell is "until when?" I do not want to end up searching for another adventure leaving the last one unfinished. I would like to make something out of this while I am thinking about the offer. If time permits me so, I'll do great in this career and make the overseas work wait. Six months would be enough to prove myself that I can do this and I can do great on this. The workflow --  the pattern seems the same everyday. What I can do is to change the way I look at my targets and be productive than my normal self would; that would be a clear change.  I would like to know how this business roll out and I would like to know the branches of these job more.  I would like to learn more on how to do somebody's job; those ones who is ahead of us, for us to know what to be like guiding the ones like where I am now. In the following months, one might not know all what he yearn, but at least understand some. The challenge is still on.

        I have been in this company for a year and eight months now.  There's more file to do, more time to practice, and more chances to convince myself that I know what I'm doing. And the challenge is still on. Loads of articles, evidences, exhibits, bunch of new attorneys, bunch of new company names, and  lot more cases. All comes in the next couple of months ahead. This might be a good preparation on what I really look upon on doing; a practice if I may. Once I can tell myself that I can do this job, I can call it challenge done.


*******

[nosebleed *singhot]
Dahil kelangan namin tapusin ang essay sa loob ng isang shift, may pagka redundant na yung ibang linya.
Hahaha gulpi ako nito sa mga English major dyan.
Andyan ang comment box, malaya kayo pumuna hehehe.

Conversation with Someone Special

(Hmmm... napaka-informal ng paguusap namin. Hehe kase mas komportable akong kinakausap ko Siya ng parang tropa lang... Parang kuya ko lang. Mas nasasabi ko kase lahat pag ganto. Malamang may magsabing mali, pero mas gusto ko ang paraang ganto kesa ang pagdudahan ang mga gawa Nya or ang tuluyang hindi maniwala sa Kanya.)

*******

Kamusta ka na?
Alam ko madalas Mo ako makita kaya hindi ako magtataka kung hindi Mo ako tanungin kung kamusta na ako.
Tagal natin di nag usap ng ganto... kelan nga ba yung huli?
Thanks ha.
Sa lahat.
Sa pagtingin Mo sa'kin sa araw araw :)
Salamat din sa pagtingin sa pamilya ko :)
Patuloy Mo sila bantayan ha...
Si nanay, si tatay... bigyan Mo siya ng sapat ng lakas ng katawan para makapagtrabaho para sa'min.
Si ate, medyo krisis... bigyan Mo siya ng tatag ng loob para malagpasan lahat, saka para sa mga pamangkin ko.
Kay kuya, i-enlight Mo ang isip nya para malaman nya yun responsibilidad bilang ama para sa mga pamangkin ko.
Kay Randy, gabayan Mo siya... sana mahanap nya na yung trabahong gusto nya para makatulong na rin siya sa bahay.
Para sa'kin... hehe patuloy Mo lang akong gawing healthy sa araw araw para magawa ko yung trabaho ko. Hmmm gabayan Mo rin ako kung san ako pupunta. Dito na ba talaga ako, kung hindi 'to para sa'kin,  bigyan Mo ako ng maganda, mahinahon, at kaaya ayang SIGN na may iba pang nakalaan para sa'kin. Ayaw ko iwan yung mga kaibigan ko dito pero Ikaw ang masusunod... hindi ako.
Paki tingnan tingnan na rin yung mga kaibigan ko, at yung mga kasama ko sa trabaho. Gawin Mong mainam na lugar yun para sa araw araw. Saka si ano... alam kong may pinagdaanan siya nitong mga nakaraang araw... pagaanin Mo ang loob nya, please.

Sorry ha... ang demanding ko no? Pansin Mo?
Sorry kase parang sa tuwing nagkakausap tayo, parang laging hiling at request ang conversation natin.
Sorry sa mga kasalanan ko Sa'yo. Oo, alam ko madami... marami Ka pinagbawal noon na trending ngayon... buti na lang hindi ganun kalala yung mga ginagawa ko... good boy pa din ako kahit papano... peace ^_^"
May mga instruction ka para sa institusyon Mo na hindi ko ginagawa sorry, hindi ko nakikitang mas magiging mabuting tao ako kung gagawin ko 'yun. May mga kilala nga ako gumagawa ng bawat ritwal na yun kaso hindi naman ganun kaganda ang rehistro nya sa tao, hindi nya isinasabuhay yung turo mo pag labas nya ng bahay mo. tapos si... Ay! sorry po. ^_^"

Salamat ng madaming madami!
Ilang araw na lang, 29 days na lang, matatapos na naman yung isang taon na pinahiram mo sa'kin. Bibigyan Mo pa ba ako ng kasunod? Hehe joke lang :). Salamat sa nakalipas na taon, Ikaw na ang bahala... Ikaw ang masusunod. Ikaw ang manguna... Ikaw ang nakakaalam sa lahat.

Salamat sa pagkakataon na 'to na tinawag mo ako saglit.
Na miss ko pala na makipag usap sa'yo ng ganto.
Kahit araw-araw Kitang binubulungan, iba pa rin pala pag one-on-one.
Salamat ha... Wiseguy :)


*******

December 29, 2011

Maaga kami pinauwi ng manager namin sa work; wala naman kase talagang ginagawa.
Walang pasok kinabukasan kaya ang awkward ng pakiramdam na uuwi kang tirik pa ang araw sa langit. Mas sanay kase akong umuuwi ng malamig na yung hangin at gabi na, titingalain mo na lang yung buwan at bituin pag walang ulap ulan.

May mga lakad din yung mga kasama ko sa trabaho na hindi pumasok kaya wala talagang schedule na gimik or lakad para sa araw na 'to. Ang boring.

Sumakay ako ng bus pauwi. Napasakay ako sa Aircon bus... lugi... pag sakay ko kase pinapawisan pa din kami. Parang bentilador ang buga ng aircon... maligamgam imbis na malamig.

I decided na bumaba ng Alabang. Naglambing kase si Nanay na ibili ko siya ng kiat-kiat... di ko naman nabili.
Bumaba ako sa isang mall sa Alabang, balak ko magpalamig muna since maaraw pa at pasaway yung bus na nasakyan ko. Paikot-ikot ako sa loob ng mall, paikot-ikot. Wala naman kase akong bibilhin... wala akong pupuntahan. Lahat ng floors ng mall na yun nalibot ko... pagdating sa 4th floor, nakita ko yung chapel. Naglalakad ako sa harap ng chapel... wala talaga akong balak pumasok dun... pero parang hinahatak ako papasok.

Walang kaabog-abog akong umupo... yumuko...

And we talked.

Legend:
:)             = Ngumingiti ako ng literal habang naguusap kami.
^_^"        = Ngumingiti ako labas ipin habang naguusap kami.

Project Random Smile 5: Success!

It started with a poem.
Then with a bookmark.
Another poem.
Another bookmark
then...
the "hatch" day. [ you know, the day when we're hatched ]


I love being random. It's one way or one characteristic na gusto kong matandaan ng tao sa'kin... maging random. Eventually, I found it really amusing and really heartwarming na may napapangiti akong tao out of it. Siguro isa sa mga ultimate satisfaction ko ang mang sorpresa. Sad to say wala akong kapangyarihan gawin to sa lahat ng taong kilala ko. I just feel at a certain time kung sino ang dapat gawan ko ng ganun or yung dapat gawan ng ganun. [don't want to go on details 'bout that.]

And then there was this girl na I planned to surprise on her birthday.
Hehe dalawang buwang pagpaplano and nakalipas -- well, parang 'di naman kase it started out as a dare.

Let the flowers do the talking.

Nahamon akong magbigay ng bulaklak sa isang tao sa araw na yun. Hehehe agad ko naman tinanggap kase hindi ko man siya araw-araw ginagawa, hindi na iba sa'kin ang magbigay nun.

Ang tanong: Kung paano nya tatanggapin at kung tatanggapin ba nya?

Nung una, I wanted to give her a stuffed toy cat. Lagi ko binibigay yun sa mga new acquaintances ko kaso ilang mall ang pinuntahan ko isang gabi after ng work, wala na akong makitang same design and same cat.  Ngayon, naniniwala talaga ako na wala talagang pangyayari na tinatawag na coincidence. Hindi ko alam nung parehong gabing yun pumunta ako sa tindahan ng libro para hanapin yung bagong labas na librong hinahanap ko na sinulat ni Tado. Oo~! si Tado! meron siyang libro nakita ko sa TV nakalimutan ko lang yung title. And then ayun nakita ko yung isang libro na binabasa nya [si bortdey girl]

Makikita ko bang merong ganun dun kung hindi ako pumunta dun? Nakita ko yun pero hindi yun yung hinahanap ko. Coincidence.

Binili ko yung libro ^_^"

Yung flowers na lang problema ko.
Isang araw bago ang big day, nagpapatintero pa yung mga ideya sa isip ko pano ako bibili at dadalhin sa office yung bulaklak. Sorpresa yun so kelangan mas konti ang nakakaalam, mas maganda. Ilang araw na din akong nakaisip ng paraan... 'di ko din nasunod hahaha.

Nakauwi na ako sa lugar namin... inisip ko kase, dito na lang ako sa mall sa may amin bibili para malapit tapos hayaan ko na lang na makita ng lahat pagpasok ko. Kaso, wala akong makitang magandang arrangement na gaya nung nakita ko sa mall na malapit sa office namin. Dalawa, tatlo, apat na mall ang pinuntahan ko wala. Anong solusyon? bumyahe ulit papunta sa mall na malapit sa office HAHAHA para lang akong timang. Kung naisip ko na walang maayos na flower shop dito dapat umalis ako ng maaga... ngayon, nakikipagunahan ako sa oras kase umalis ako pabalik ng Makati sa oras na alam kong yun na yung mga oras na nagsasarado ang mall. Magaling Dubz.

To make the story short, nabili ko yung flowers and hindi siya maliit na package gaya ng inaakala ko HAHAHA. Bumili na din ako ng gift wrap pauwi. Good thing, andun ang kapatid ko at nautusan kong balutin yung libro kapalit ng sampung piso. Magaling Dubz.

And since excited, nauna pa akong nagising kesa sa tunog ng alarm clock ko. Sabi ko kase, kelangan ko pumasok ng maaga para magawa kung yung tamang "set-up". Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit dun pa ako sinumulang kabahan kung ano ano ang pumasok sa isip ko.

Pano kung meron na siya nung librong binili ko?

Pano kung masira yung bulaklak papunta dun?

Pano kung hindi pala siya tumatanggap ng ganun... at mas preferred nya ang cash?? [hahaha kung mabasa mo 'to joke lang. Pero alam kong hindi mo mababasa 'to]

Tanggapin nya kaya?

7:00 A.M. ang call time namin sa office; yun yung time of work. Gusto ko maaga pumasok kaya dumating ako sa office ng 5:00 A.M. wahahaha sobrang inaantok ako nun buti express yung bus at naalog ako ng unti. Dumating ako sa office kakabukas pa lang at may isa pa lang akong officemate na andun nagulat nga siya sa dala ko. Pero di na ako nag explain ng husto, sinabi ko lang para kanino ^_^" natuwa naman siya. Agad kong kinuha yung scotch tape sa table ng supervisor namin at dumiretso sa loob. Tape dito, Tape doon. Para akong IT staff na akala mo nagkukumpuni ng mga wire sa ilalim ng computer table. In a point, oo. Ayaw ko kase masira ng mga wire yung flowers.

Fast forward.

Isang oras ang lumipas, umupo na ako sa table ko at nagsimulang magdatingan ang mga katrabaho. Lumapit sa'kin yung office mate ko na nadatnan ko. Luminga linga siya sa paligid sabay tanong.

"San na yung flowers?"

"Asa table nya." sabi ko. Tumingin si office mate sa table ni birthday girl pero di nya nakita.

"Asan??" Tanong nya ulit.

Hindi na ako sumagot... napahalakhak ako ng malakas. Effective yung ginawa ko. ^_^"

And then dumating si Maine. Siya yung nag dare na magbigay ako ng flower. Mas excited pa siya sa'kin.

Eto ang plano: Una kong ibibigay ung libro at pabubuksan sa kanya. Bakit?? contingency plan ang kalalabasan ng flowers kung magkataon na meron na siyang kopya nung libro na 'yun. Sayang eh, babawiin ko yung libro tapos hihiramin ko yung part one na nasa kanya  hahaha.

And then she came.

Alam ng buong office na birthday nya. Pero iilan lang kaming may alam ng surpresa. Eto ang tip... kung may plano kayong manorpresa ng tao at naisip nyo na magsabi ng mga sweet na linya, production numbers or declamation kasama ng gift, wag nyo na ituloy. Sa sobrang bilis lang ng moment na pinaghandaan nyo, hindi nyo magagawang magsalita kahit na yung mga bagay na matagal mo nang gustong sabihin.

Binigay ko yung book and she opened it. Dun pa lang solb na ako nung ngumiti siya at nag "thank you". Yun lang yun... kahit dun lang kuntento na ako. Hindi ko pa natatanong kung meron na siyang kopya nung librong binigay ko sa kanya, nakarinig ako ng pamilyar na boses "Meron pa!~" si Maine... hehehe. Thank you at hindi mo na pinatagal ang kaba ko. Gaya ng tip ko, wala na akong nasabi. Balak ko na siya na mismo ang pakukuhanin ko ng nakatago sa ilalim ng desk pero... gentleman ako... [ata...] ako din ang nagbunyag ng sarili kong surpresa.

Masaya... sobrang masaya ako nung oras na 'yun. Sa madaming bagay hehehe. Tinanggap nya yung regalo, Oo; Nagawa ko yung DARE sa'kin, Oo; [Sus, sisiw nga eh] pero higit sa lahat, na satify ko yung need ko na magpasaya ng ibang tao. Para akong adik na nakatikim ng epektos although di ako user at nasabi ko yung message na gusto ko iparating. It's more of a message for my self contentment.

Kahit gaano ka kalungkot, hindi yun dahilan para hindi ka maging masaya ^_^"

having said that, I proved one thing.

My heart jumped in excitement when I got this..  :)

THANK YOU so much for this gift..

The latter words were from her blog.
She never told that to me personally
She will never do ^_^" too shy to.


Wanna say thanks to Maine for this wonderful plan!!! Thanks Thanks.

Tulala sa isang tabi...

Hahaha natatawa ako... naalala ko yung OPM na kantang may linyang kagaya ng sa title ng post na 'to.

ehem...

Okay. Game. Lately, naguumpisa na naman akong matulala. Naguumpisa na din akong magtaka bakit napapadalas na naman 'to. Kung sakit 'to, kelangan ko ng gamot. Hmmm isa siguro yung dahil sa magpapasko. Tama... Pasko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pag dumadating ang pasko mas unti unting nagiging mas less merry ito para sa'kin. Don't get the wrong impression pero hindi na ito kasing saya gaya ng mga inaanak  na taon taon akong nadadagdagan.

Trivia: Sa isang taon, meron nag aaya sakin na dalawa o tatlo na mga kakilala para maging ninong at ninang. Sa ngayon, meron akong 16 na inaanak.

(Susulat ako ng separate na article hiwalay sa topic na 'to)

Moving on...

Alam ko na meron naman talaga akong dapat isipin nitong mga araw na ito... madami. madami.

Kaso masyado ata akong nag eenjoy sa pagiisip kaya may mga times na natutulala ako sa maling oras at maling lugar. Kanina, maaga dapat akong matatapos sa  kaso na hawak ko kaso in between the process bigla akong mapapag isip at matutulala ako sa gitna ng trabaho [hep! hindi ako tumatakas sa trabaho. pwede ako yumuko at umidlip bakit ako tatakas hehe].

Ang matulala sa trabaho ay masasabi kong normal na bagay. Pero ang matulala sa gilid ng kalsada sa tabi ng bus stop ay hindi pang araw araw na gawain [grin].

Dapat aalis ako pagkalabas ng opisina. Pupunta ako DUN. Dun sa isang sikat na lugar na pinupuntahan ng tao. Malawak, may matatayog na gusali, at may baybayin. May balak ako bilhin dun pero mas gusto ko makita yung baybayin. Gusto ko yung pakiramdam na hinihipan ka ng hangin habang nagiisip, nagmumunimuni, at natutulala. Mas na appreciate ko ang ganung moment lalo na nung huling punta ko dun, nagiisip ko sa tabing baybayin ng may kasama. Kaso natigilan ako tumuloy ngayon kase parang ang boring umalis mag isa. Hindi pa rin naman ako ganun ka EMO para umiyak, tumawa, at makipagusap sa sarili ko dun. Isa pa, nag offer yung isang close friend ko sa office sasamahan nya daw ako pag punta dun, mamasyal kami, at ililibre nya pa ako ng merienda...

pero joke ko lang yun. Nag offer lang siyang sumama pero YUN LANG WALA NA IBA. [masyado kang ambisyoso Dubz... nilibre ka na nga ng sundae cone eh]

Sumakay siya ng bus pauwi sa kanila at ako nag aabang ng bus. Madaming tao, pumipila, may mga barker na sumisigaw "Alabang, Pacita, derecho Skyway!!!" pero andun ako sa isang tabi nakatulala hahaha.
Nangangati ang utak ko na tumuloy sa lugar na yun kahit alas medya kwarter na ng gabi... andun yung sasakay na ako ng bus papunta dun pero natitigilan ako. Hanggang sa nagiisip ako ulit kung bakit ba ako pupunta dun at bakit kelangan dun hindi ba pwede sa iba? yung mas malapit?

Kahit ako namangha sa sarili ko... kulang kulang limang minuto yun na naka tayo ako sa gitna ng sidewalk, nakatingin sa isang direksyon, at hindi natinag kahit mabangga ng mga nagaagawang pasahero at malalakas na busina at sigaw ng mga kundoktor.

Hindi normal 'to. Siguro kelangan ko na ulit mag sulat. [hindi gantong sulat. yung sulat na ginagawa ko dati... mga short stories, sa mga kung anu anu lang]

Kelangan ko ng gamot pampakalma ng isip hahaha.


"Di ka ba napapagod? kanina ka pa kase tumatakbo sa isip ko"


WAHAHA. LAPTRIP!

Writer's Block

Naipublish tong blog na to dahil gusto ko mag sulat, gusto ko mag pahid ng tinta dito kahit alam kong walang makakabasa dahil iilan lang ang nakakaalam na nagsusulat ako sa paraang ganto. Sa totoo lang mas gusto ko yun; mag sulat para  maglabas ng gusto sabihin para sa SARILI.

Isa pang nakaktuwang dahilan ay dahil sa nahingian ako ng isang artikulo ng isang malapit na kakilala [na hanggang ngayon eh hindi ko pa nailalathala kase... hindi pa siya tapos hahaha. sorry bunso, sorry Ara] at kasama ni Ara nainspire din ako ni Eula sa pag gawa ulit at pag sulat ng blog :D

Kaka publish lang ng blog na 'to. At para sa formality na magmukha siyang blog, isinalin ko dito yung mga articles na galing sa mga dati kong blog sa kadahilanang hindi ko na maalala ang log in or password nung mga account na yun. [kase makakalimutin tlaga ako sa mga bagay bagay -- sobrang makakalimutin]

(asan na nga ba ako??)

Ayun, habang nagtatagal ako sa pag kumpuni, pag edit, pag post, at pag ubos ng oras, hindi ko napapansin na wala naman talaga akong naidadagdag sa post na 'to kundi yung mga dati ko lang din na ginawa. Pangalawa, napansin ko na karamihan sa mga dating ginawa ko eh mga English [mahirap man paniwalaan, kahit hindi halata... marunong ako mag English... oo! totoo yun... promise.] konti nga lang. Kung tutuusin, makikita at mapapansin nyo pa na mali mali ang grammar at punctuation  nung mga English articles ko. Hindi ko sila binago para ma preserve ko yung mga salitang ginawa ko dati... saka para mas malakas din ang tawa ko sa sarili ko habang binabasa ko yung mga grammatical error na nasa post ko. [Halatang hindi ko sineryoso ang pagaaral ng English.]

Moving on...

Kanina, habang nakasakay ako sa bus papuntang office, bumalik na naman yung pakiramdam ko na gustong gusto kong sumulat ng article para madagdagan naman yung laman nitong pahina na 'to kaso ayun na ba-blanko na naman ang isip ko sa kakaisip. Parang sa pag iinternet lang; pag wala ka sa harap ng PC andami mong gustong i-search at panoorin sa Youtube, pero pag andito ko na... 'nak ng tinapay anu nga ba yung gusto kong i-search at panoorin sa Youtube? [ sabi sa'yo makakalimutin ako ]

Kanina din habang nakasakay ako sa bus pauwi, naisip ko ang ilan sa mga dahilan kung anung pwedeng dahilan bakit ganto.

Una, masayado ako mabilis magisip, ito siguro yung mga dahilan kung bakit hindi ako tumataba, mukha akong puyat kahit lagpas walong oras akong tulog, at tinutubuan ako ng puting buhok. Minsan ko na nasabing kaya kong mag-isip ng dalawang bagay ng sabay. Hindi sa abnormal ako pero palagay ko may mga oras tlaga na nagagawa ko to... habang nagta-type ako ng mga case sa office, minsan nagagawa kong isipin kung anung itsura ng mga nagsasalita sa audio na naririnig ko. Hindi ko pa ako nakakaalpas sa senaryong yun eh... nagagawa ko nang sundan yun ng pagiisip ng ibang bagay gaya ng kung pano kaya kung sa'kin nangyari yung kaso na yun or pano kaya kung dito sa 'Pinas nangyari yung ganun or pano kaya kung kakilala ko yung ganun or pano kung ako yung andun mismo sa court trial, naiisip ko yun habang iniisip ko kung anung itsura ng mga taong napapakinggan ko.[Sempre 'di pa kasama jan ang segue sa pagiisip sa kras at sa mga kakulitan na binabalak sa hinaharap]

~ Masyado ako mabilis mag isip in the sense na may meron akong gustong isulat o isiping isang bagay pero agad napapatungan ng mga topic na  iniisip kong mas magandang simulan or isulat. WALA AKONG POKUS. Alam ko na yan bata pa lang ako. hanggang ngayon pinipilit ko i-trace back kung san nagsimula ang pagiging out of focus ko.

At Pangalawa na siguro eh pinaka importante sa lahat, nakalimutan ko ang SELF EXPRESSION.

~ Blog ko 'to. hindi ko kelangan gumawa ng mga ilalaman dito para ikakasaya ng ibang tao. Hindi ako kelangan gumawa ng ilalaman dito para basahin ng ibang tao para sa panlasa ng iba. Minsan natatakot ako mag post iniisip ko baka kase hindi magustuhan ng mga makakabasa... nakalimutan ko... WALA NAMAN AKO READER HAHAHA. Eh, bakit ba blog ko to eh.

~ Hindi ko rin kelangan mag English para lang maging tunog pormal. Hindi ko kelangan ng pormal na lahatlain kung hindi ko naman masasabi ng lubos yung gusto kong sabihin dun. Pero hindi ko naman gusto sabihin na magsusulat lang ako sa salitang Filipino lagi. Kahit masakit sa kasing kasing ang mag English para sa'kin, gagawa ako ng English article promise :D

Hindi ko kelangan mag English.

Mas makakapag express ako ng gusto ko ipaliwanag gamit ang lenggwaheng kinalakihan ko gamitin.

I don't have to write in English for  [ @!(*&#@(*&%)*% 'nak ng tinapay tlaga nakaisip na ako ng magandang English quote nakalimutan ko na naman]

Anyways, this is my blog, my rules, and my post.

Lahat 'to eh naglalaman ng mga kalokohan, ka kornihan at mga kalikutan ng isip ko.

Somehow, makikilala mo ako dito.

Kung hindi ka interesado, wag ka magbasa... Eh bakit ka ba nangengealam?! Blog ko naman  'to. Belat.

Ayan may naiisip na ako.

Antok na ako... bukas na lang ulit pag wala nang mga balakid sa pagsusulat. Tara tulog na.

after all hindi ako entitled sa title nito... hindi ako full pledged writer hehehe :D

Dream Burial

 [note: isa 'to sa mga article na sinulat ko nung 2008. Emo days, tipong galit pa sa mundo. Lagi rin tumatakas sa isip ko na ang English term para sa "karo" ay "hearse" -- 'nak ng tinapay talaga -- ]






Im sure we're thinking beyond after we die.
Are angels true?
Is heaven really real?
We never even think about what we will going to be when we die and being laid upon by thousand pairs of eyes while we're there enjoying our so called "Burol" but we don't care because we don't even know how it feels to be DEAD hehe.






I saw a picture generator on the web which  lets you generate a graphical representation of your tomb stone. You are very free to put in whatever information you love and if you are a freak enough to be a man of curiosity, you are allowed to make your death date faster. Create some pictures of  that and send them to your favorite bestfriends and let them slap your face after all the "not good feeling" and restlessness [to punch you right into your nose]  provided that your death is not true. Very nice.




It also made my mind itch and come to think of our elders. Them who's very keen about their "Habilin" when they die. And most of the time, habilins are followed. Cool.




Since blogging gives me a right to post all I wanted, and since I have few readers with it,  I would like to create my own HABILIN.


If ever Wiseguy says it's time for me to come home,  there's some list to consult. ^_^"
Here's my list.


If I die:


- I really want to be cremated. But cremation is quite expensive, so I prefer to have the underground internment.


- Morticians should be very careful on handling my body, specially my face. This is the only beautiful part -- I guess -- of this physical being.


-If possible minimize the cryings.


- I want every one of my dearest family to be present at all time.


- Friends should be there too!


- There should be singing and laughing while I'm on my BUROL. I want to hear childrens laughter everywhere. (hey, I'm dead I cant hear by that time)


- When my internment comes, I want my... what do you call it?? the car who brings your casket?? well anyways... i want my karo to play music while on the way to the church. The karo should play a music of my choice right? I want "Tears in Heaven" Gregorians version.


- While in the mass... I want the church to play Michael Bolton's "Go the Distance" when its time for the eucharist.


- And when my body is leaving the church, I want the church to play "Moment of Peace" by the Gregorians as well ( while the church bells are ringing) spooky.


- I want to have a normal internment. Just put me six feet under and dig in some soil.


- I want my family to be relaxed when the day ended and continue life without bringing the pain of my loss.


Well, anyways, I  dunno how this came up to my mind, but I always wanted to post a article of this kind. It's a bit short for a habilin, though. but I can always add something to this while I'm still alive, right?


But for now...




ENJOY THE DAYS THAT YOU'RE WITH YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVE ONES. THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON KNOWS WHEN IT'S TIME FOR US TO DO OUR OWN HABILINs.


And thank God... I'm still here to write mine.

Dusk of Sundays

Informal.


It's Sunday. I don't know if it's only me, but what's with Sundays that I get so gloomy about.  It's the first day of the week, right? So, to make the incoming week productive and energetic, start the first day of the week with a blast. Yeah, right. But How in the world -- Arrgh~! Sundays.
Is it the music played on the radio that makes a gloomy Sunday gloomy?
Is it the TV shows?
Maybe the idea of going to work on the following days after Sunday that makes me sluggish. But dude, I happen to experience going to work with Sundays... months of them actually and there's still that distinct mood for Sunday in me that I wanted to go home as fast as I can to sleep Sunday out. Geesh~!


It's Sunday... and it's afternoon. No, the sun is already setting to hide from the mountains and the horizons over there. There! you see it?!


Dusk of Sundays.  This is one hell of a test for me. Every week, I had to find something or anything or someone to have my mind think of something else that would make me not realize that this part of the day is passing and have already gone. If I found something that could catch my attention, I could laugh at Sunday saying  "aha! night time! bye Sunday, see you next week", but if I haven't, these were the times where I talk to my pillow to buy me round trip tickets to dreamland even if it's still  5:00 p.m.


Was it really the Sundays? Maybe.
Maybe not.
But I have great Sundays I lived to tell and to reminisce. I know I have many, but since I'm writing this impromptu, I ought to stumble on the recent ones. Great Sunday indeed. It was rainy though, but I did have a wishful thinking that that Sunday would be longer. Yes, longer as opposed to what I wish my usual Sunday should be. Yes, you've guessed it right... of course it did not happen because that day was ended also by incoming dusk. Whew! so soon. Enjoy the movie with her though. It's a blast


Was it really the Sundays?
Maybe not.
Was it the afternoons? The dusk?


Well, I have issues with the afternoons and dusk, you know. [Nah! long story.] But I happen to tell someone that "afternoons are not that lonely anymore"
I thought so.
It is not that lonely anymore... at least for now. Or at least, there's still a bagful of afternoons from that long story that's still clinching in my brain that can't be plucked out by ten -- twenty, twenty seven or fifty good afternoons and good dusk.


It appears to me that I'll be walking some less good dusk ahead.
I know.
I feel it.
As early of now i should find something that would...


[text message]
[to think, this is my first message for the whole day]
[Excited... I hope it's from her]


"You're Call/Text promo subscription is already expired..."


sweet.




I'm thinking of writing about something...




Hmmmm... it's already night time... I was able to divert my attention from enduring an incoming Sunday Dusk. Aha! Night time! Bye Sunday! see you next week.

Why now? Why Valentines Day?

First hours of February 14, 2011 has passed and I'm in the front of the computer talking to Eula :D and my Supervisor :D and then as the booming and flowering batch of Valentine's Day messages gush through, there's something running in my head. And this means i had to think about it and write about it.


~Valentine's Day.
or Balentayms para sa mga kabataang pinoy hahah.
~This is the time where chocolates gets quite expensive.
~This is the time where flowers of kind ( I think ) gets quite expensive.
~This is the time where Parks and Valentine themed places are getting crowded and gets quite pricey.
~This is the time where [for mature readers] motels, hotels, and such are eventually getting some Valentine inspired rooms and gets quite expensive.
~Valentine's day is one day of the year where lovers plan on doing something sweet or memorable just because it's Valentine's day.


But why now? Why ONLY on Valentine's day??


Question:


What is Valentine's day for a single, not committed person? (many people forget Valentine's day is not for lovers alone)


How about the recently broken hearted individual? ( What would the "day" would give him/her? Or would she/he still thinks that such "day" is existing?)


AND Why would we do something special on this "day" if we could do it readily almost everyday?


------------------------------------------------------


Doing something special in commemoration of the "day" is quite pointless.


We don't buy flowers, gifts, go to romantic places, and say sweet I love you because it's Valentine'day. It's because of our affection, what we feel, it's about LOVE.


If you are showing your loved one that you can do something great for them on this day, you can do this to them again and again more special than a single day of the year.


And loved one is not limited to a  girlfriend, boyfriend. You have your friends, and your family.


and you have your ONLY ONE up there.


Tell a blind man how you love him and he will feel the LOVE, without him seeing the color of a rose petal or how us normal people draw a heart shape.


See the face of your parents and brothers and sisters, when you go out for work. See them smile as they wish you to take great care of yourself. That is Love out of Valentine's day [and you get them everyday]


Personally, when I get to see the people I care for in everyday life; the feeling is heavenly when you know there's somebody is waiting for you to get home... while even before you leave.


When you see your crush at the office. It feels great isn't it? It's a Kilig feeling you feel every time. An intense feeling you feel even it's not Valentine's day


These are some feelings more Lovelier than Valentine's day.


So don't find comfort and love on a single day because the season is telling you that's it's a "loving day today".






This are certain feelings that you can feel everyday. Just look and try feel them.
It's a feeling where you get inspired and feel alive.
It's a feeling you could readily get and not to be emphasized in a single day of the year.




Valentine's day is only a commemoration day.
~you should not cherish the love that you already had just because it's valentine's day. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY.
~you should not make some special arrangements on this day just to say it's Special. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY.
~it doesn't have to be expensive. Just an ice cream cone on the free time together is enough. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY.
~it doesn't have to be expensive. Walking holding each others hands on the way home is enough. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY.
~it doesn't have to be girl/boyfriend. You could tell friends, parents, and siblings how special are they. YOU CAN DO IT EVERYDAY


... it doesn't have always to be  I Love you. You also need to say a warm Sorry and a simple Thank you.


I think.
Valentine's day should not be a day where you could show someone how special they are.
instead...
Valentine's day should remind us that True Love really do exist.


And should be practiced in no amount of wealth or time will be measured.


just always a heartful*


Celebrate love.


*http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/heartful